20 years ago, I first met you, and the relationship has been rocky the entire time. I’ve met many wonderful people, and absolutely love myself now, but some of the people I’ve met make the word asshole look nice. In Latin, the word “perfide” translates as traitor, but in context it is one of the worst things you could ever call someone, a modern day “S.O.B.”. Some of the people I’ve met while being alive have perfected the art of acting nice or like they care, only to show their true colors and cut me down. Well I say to them, no more! I will no longer let you hold me back, nor will I even act nice to you later on. I say you get what you give, and if you treat me like a bitch then don’t expect any favors from me! One of the driving thoughts behind anything I do is to prove all those naysayers wrong and to be better than those who’ve bullied me. Sure, some of these people only used me as a stepping stone to get from point A to point B and never gave me any thought at all, but it’s people like that who make the deepest cuts. A friend once said she was offended when some guy asked me to be “…like a friend with benefits…” because that meant he didn’t think well enough of me to even try for something more, but she [the friend] stopped talking to me and started talking about me as soon as I graduated high school. I think both are similar; she didn’t think well enough of me to even attempt a real friendship. All I was to her was a means to stay semi-sane during high school, nothing more. But no more will I let her rule my life or be affected by her bitchiness. Another thing is a guy who says he likes you and then years pass as nothing happens. Obviously you don’t like me all that much seeing as how neither of us have been in a relationship for almost 2 years. And I made my moves and did everything I could to the point of being redundant, but the fault lies on his side of the playing field. But he will not hold me back any longer. I used to think that our life focused on who we are and who we know, but in this new decade of my life, I have had a major paradigm shift. It’s not who you know, but who you’ve known and still know. It’s not who you are, it’s who you will be. I don’t care about the people in my past, but that doesn’t mean the scars don’t hurt every once and a while. In the past, I was hurt so many times that I developed severe trust issues, and each time I started trusting someone to help me get better, they’ve all stabbed me in the back. But that doesn’t define who I am, it’s who I turn out to be that defines me. Whether it’s a mathematician, engineer, artist, or something else entirely, who I’ve become at the point in the future is all due to whose used me before and made me stronger because of it. So yes, I still hate them at times, yet I can guarantee that they have turned me into a much stronger and better person because of it. My life, in a way, is entirely thanks to them being assholes, so thanks Amanda, Matt, Will, Josh, Nathan, Jesse, Ashleigh, and well the list goes on. But so too does my song.